20 things I said I wouldn’t let Beau do as a toddler (until he actually became one)
So following on from my last post…here are 20 things I said I wouldn’t let Beau do as a toddler (but then let him do all the same). This just proves that I am totally #wingingit…
- Letting him play with my makeup. Over the last year I’ve learnt that toddlers learn everything from YOU (which is slightly scary), so Beau now knows what make up does and where it goes, at the sacrifice of many a decent powder brush and overpriced snapped lip pencil.
- Letting him eat (unused) cotton buds. Beau likes to dig around in my make up bag, find these and tear off the cotton. He also has a real love for lip balm.
- Allowing him to sniff wine…I’m pretty sure he learnt this from Clint, but every time he sees a glass of wine he demands to hold it, sniff it and go ‘ahh’ (with a smile on his face).
- Going to McDonald’s. Please note this happens very rarely but Happy Meals are cheap, cheerful, more healthy now (apparently), and come with a free toy that will provide endless entertainment for about 5 minutes.
- Carrying him instead of using the pram. There is a reason why I am holding Beau in many of my Instagram photos. Because every time we put Beau into the Demon Pram from Hell he assumes the stiff-as-a-board-pose and screams blue murder to get the hell out. On the plus side, my arms are now super toned so every cloud and all that.
- Bribing him with chocolate. Although useful on long car journeys (not so handy when it’s all melted into his clothes and car seat), I regret the day I gave Beau chocolate because he now sees the magic brown stuff as some kind of wonder drug and I have to sneakily eat it in the bathroom like a naughty school girl.
- Letting him run around in restaurants. Ok this is a hard one. Very often, one of us has to take him out of the restaurant and let him run around outside instead (or in Topshop at 8pm the other day…) whilst the other one eats/drinks (a lot) alone. I always said I was never going to be one of ‘those’ parents. (Please don’t judge me). But this kid is fast. And you have to run to catch up with him. Therefore…you BOTH end up running around in restaurants.
- Saying ‘no’ a lot. And ‘please Beau’ a lot. And ‘please Beau, I’ve had enough’ a lot. (You get me).
- Letting him eat fluff from the carpet/food from the floor/stones from the garden/the free crayons from restaurants (at least they make super colourful happy poo)/soil/toilet paper/bugs (all self-explanatory).
- Letting him throw sand around the garden. Because, you know…(I actually hoovered it up from the grass the other day. No really).
- Letting him throw the entire contents of a drawer down the stairs just so I can sit on my phone alone for 5 whole minutes.
- Not using bibs. Naked eating time followed by naked bath time is a hell of a lot easier than (fully clothed) laundry time.
- Not wearing hats. If you look at my posts from last year you can probably see I was pretty obsessed with baby hats (still am), but we have tried everything to get him to wear the damn things in the sunshine and he ain’t having any of it. Luckily for him, he tans really easily but I still worry about his ears and nose burning. However I did manage to get him to wear a carrot bucket as a hat for about 10 seconds today so we’re making progress people! (See photo evidence below).
- Letting him eat his own poo. Please note this happened in the BATH and is not my fault in ANY WAY.
- Letting him cover the iPad with yogurt. These things are pretty robust and baby wipes clean everything don’t you know.
- Bribing him with bubbles. Blow some bubbles and catch the perfect picture. Ta-dah!
- Letting him sit too close to the TV. The TV, I’m sure is far worse off than he is when it comes to greasy finger marks and a wind up toy dog that was pushed way too far into its speaker system.
- Wasting money on stupid claw machines because he really wants the pink teddy bear and feeling like a failure when you don’t win.
- Driving around for ages to get him to sleep as he very rarely goes to sleep with a bottle nowadays and won’t drift off on his own (this is something we are working on).
- Letting him rearrange the cupboard under the sink. Every day.
So there you have it! I am pretty sure there are many other things that I said I would never let him do when he became a toddler and many many other things that I can learn from having one in my life. This stage is without doubt the hardest yet but SO much fun. We have daily meltdowns but never-ending laughter, huge piles of laundry but endless cuddles and kisses, food thrown everywhere but some serious proud mama moments. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.